as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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