Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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