saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
