Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
