I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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