Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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