I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize