Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize