I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
