Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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