I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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