So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
