Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
