No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I believe in your delicious
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
