Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
