i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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