they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
