How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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