I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
