i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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