Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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