Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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