he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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