and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
