She announced her abortion via fbk
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
