I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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