I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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