I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
