remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
