I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
