When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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