Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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