The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
