Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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