Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
