its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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