i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
