Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Enjoy the penises
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
