your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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