I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
