im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
