That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
