He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
