You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
