ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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