return my video game
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
