I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
