i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
