WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
