She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
