I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
