I want to make a zoo with you.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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