I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
