She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
