If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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