people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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