At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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